How She Makes Enemies XV

So what do you tell your husband after you betray him and some random guy knocks you up?

Bitch, please! Those don't count as betrayals because

I take my wedding ring off before I have sex!

How She Makes Enemies XIV

*SLAP*

 Bitch! That hurt! What the hell is your problem?

I'm sure you've heard this plenty of times: You slept with my boyfriend.

Talk about holding a grudge! That was ancient history!

That was like five... days ago! Get over it!