You Can't Punch What You Can Smell 7

What's with all the poop jokes?

You fleshlings are obsessed with excrement, so I used that fact against you!

We are not! Whatever gave you that idea?

You meatbags have refrigerator magnets, squishy toys,

keychains, and whoopie cushions in the shape of feces!

They're available at your local 100-yen store!

Lies! They're lies made up by those evil aliens Yuki hangs around with!

Then I will take pleasure in watching you squirm after looking at these!

Aw, crap.

You Can't Punch What You Can Smell 6

Hey, Megs. Why did you destroy Mixmasturd with your fusion cannon?

Because I wanted to blow some shit up!

Ugh. Gross. Back on topic. Did you create the remote

controlled, non-flight capable, feces-covered drone in the

shape of a seeker to dig through all the... um... chocolate?

I see you met Turdscream!

I know he dug out the third key for you. I could have used him

if you didn't need him anymore. Why did you destroy him?

Because that shit wasn't going to fly!

*GROAN*

You Can't Punch What You Can Smell 1

I'm impressed. You actually beat that giant with brute force!

Meatbag... I hate you with the heat of a billion stars!

I love you too, Megs. Now why don't you prove

your love to me by defeating your third opponent?

Primus damn it! That stench! What foul creature let that one fly?!

Heh, heh, heh, heh!!

You Are Your Own Worst Enemy

All right, fleshling! Where is the second key?

I said I *HID* seven keys.

Where the first one was, that was a freebie.

Go do your own search.

I'm on to you, meatbag!

You're putting me into situations I can't use brute force,

thus making me solve problems though non-violent means!

Fine. I'm restoring your transformation and fusion cannon abilities.

Have fun butting heads with the giant I prepared for you.

Ha! Do your worst!

First Key Handicaps

You can find the Junior Decepticons guarding the first key. Just to keep things

interesting, I'm going to disable your fusion cannon and transformation.

Fine! I will crush those little twerps with my bare hands!

I'm also going to increase their strength and firepower a thousand fold.

Unicron. Summon me. Please.

Transball Z

The challenge I issue to you is as follows.

I hid seven Keys of Vector Sigma throughout this realm.

Collect all seven to have your wish granted!

What happens if I find over 9000 keys?

Quiet, you!

Melancholy of Megatron

Wow. Now I've met *BOTH* Autobot and Decepticon leaders!

Tell me, God of this realm.

How did Optimus Prime return to the world of the living?

I issued him a challenge and he could go back if he won.

What was this challenge?

I challenged him... to a Yo' Mama fight!!

How badly did he beat you?

Shut up.

Yes, Sell Your Soul to Unicron Instead

So what's next? Do I stick around the afterlife to raise my son?

That little monster isn't your son.

He's a construct created by the God of this realm for her amusement.

What's next is, you should speak to her.

Why do I get the feeling I would be better off dealing with Unicron?

Kirito the Womanizer, part XII

Hey, Kirigaya!

What?

Did you stick your bratwurst into Ms. Johnson's taco?

A gentleman never tells.

YOU LUCKY SON OF A BITCH