Help Finding a Date 2

Hey! Asshole! I went through some trouble finding you a date! Why the hell did you beat her up?

Girl did things! Made me uncomfortable!

What did she do?

She tried to touch my cock!

Help Finding a Date 1

You! Pretty lady! Me have question!

Uh... O... K... Ask away.

What exactly about homeless, penniless generic karate man pretty lady find so attractive?

He's not homeless nor penniless. He lives with me and he's financially responsible.

Why the hell do you want to know why I find him attractive?

Me lonely and want to find date! Me have trouble finding one!

Me want info on how hobo man hooked up with pretty lady!
Me use info to find date!

If you can promise not to kill her, I can think of someone who might be interested.

Ha! Me so unattractive, how pretty lady find date for me?

Challenge accepted!

Some time later...

Cold Rod

Some Time Later...

You Can't Punch What You Can Smell 7

What's with all the poop jokes?

You fleshlings are obsessed with excrement, so I used that fact against you!

We are not! Whatever gave you that idea?

You meatbags have refrigerator magnets, squishy toys,

keychains, and whoopie cushions in the shape of feces!

They're available at your local 100-yen store!

Lies! They're lies made up by those evil aliens Yuki hangs around with!

Then I will take pleasure in watching you squirm after looking at these!

Aw, crap.

You Can't Punch What You Can Smell 6

Hey, Megs. Why did you destroy Mixmasturd with your fusion cannon?

Because I wanted to blow some shit up!

Ugh. Gross. Back on topic. Did you create the remote

controlled, non-flight capable, feces-covered drone in the

shape of a seeker to dig through all the... um... chocolate?

I see you met Turdscream!

I know he dug out the third key for you. I could have used him

if you didn't need him anymore. Why did you destroy him?

Because that shit wasn't going to fly!

*GROAN*

You Can't Punch What You Can Smell 5

That was very clever, Megatron. While what you did wasn't a part of the rules,

I want to reward your creativity. I'll tell you where the third key is hidden.

Excellent! Starscream finally had some use!
Indirectly, perhaps, but still of some use!

The key is inside a moving vehicle which transports methanethiol,

dimethyl sulfide, indole, skatole, and Hydrogen sulfide.

The key is in a vacuum truck transporting human waste?!

Not quite. It's in a cement mixer but it's not cement being mixed. The vehicle's

name is Mixmaster. Wait. I got that wrong. Mixmasturd. Happy fishing!

Starscream, you worthless piece of bloody human discharge!

You Can't Punch What You Can Smell 4

If you're not going to take this seriously, you're not going to win.

You said that only because you don't know what *I* consider

to be conditions for victory! In fact, I've already won!

On what basis do you declare your victory?

I didn't coerce you into doing anything, yet here
you are willingly inhaling my nocturnal emissions!

Mother Unicroning son of a Quintesson!