Wednesday, July 10, 2019

Sound of Yo' Mama Making Waves

Optimus Prime! I hereby challenge you to a maternal unit fight!

Um... OK. Did you overthrow Starscream
and become the new Decepticon leader?

Negative. Starscream gave me a specific order to challenge you.

Very well, then. Bring it on!

Your maternal unit is so promiscuous,
her USB ports are clogged!

...

Is this Starscream's idea of a suicide mission?

Affirmative!

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Transball Z

The challenge I issue to you is as follows.
I hid seven Keys of Vector Sigma throughout this realm.
Collect all seven to have your wish granted!

What happens if I find over 9000 keys?

Quiet, you!

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Melancholy of Megatron

Wow. Now I've met *BOTH* Autobot and Decepticon leaders!

Tell me, God of this realm.
How did Optimus Prime return to the world of the living?

I issued him a challenge and he could go back if he won.

What was this challenge?

I challenged him... to a Yo' Mama fight!!

How badly did he beat you?

Shut up.

Monday, June 4, 2018

Yes, Sell Your Soul to Unicron Instead

So what's next? Do I stick around the afterlife to raise my son?

That little monster isn't your son.
He's a construct created by the God of this realm for her amusement.
What's next is, you should speak to her.

Why do I get the feeling I would be better off dealing with Unicron?

Sunday, June 3, 2018

Transformers: The Next Generation

Starscream Junior!
How dare you shake down some kids for lunch money and not give me a cut!

I'm sorry, Megatron Junior! I'm sorry!!

I'm so proud of him.

Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Hung Like a Horse

It's good to know you have a sense of humor!
You need it to cope with the afterlife!
Let's try exchanging verbal jabs next!

Do I have to make your mother is so fat jokes?

Nothing of the sort. Let's start with a greeting.
Megamaster! How's it hanging?

Since you asked, I'm hung like a horse!

But Megamaster, my good man! You are much larger than a horse!
That would make your penis proportionately small!

OK, I walked into that one.

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

My Little Transformers

Now that you no longer have an insignia, may I interest you in a new one?
My Little Pony repro stickers are in stock!
Which sticker would you like, Bronietron?

Why on Cybertron would I want such an abominable thing on my chest?

Because it will be fun!
Imagine having Marescream, Geldingcracker, and Fillywarp as your minions!

Did you just refer to the Seekers by using female or castrated Earth animals?

Indeed I did!

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!

Monday, May 14, 2018

The Reason He's Called Megamaster

So, Megamaster! What brings you here today?

I don't understand what's going on!
That and why aren't you running in fear of me?

Because we are no longer enemies, my good man!
Haven't you noticed you no longer have your Decepticon insignia on your chest?
That means you're dead! When you die,
you lose all affiliation with any faction you were a part of during life!
That is one of the two possibilities!

What's the other possibility?

You're an unlicensed third party knockoff toy. Take your pick!

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Tickle Me Chip

Megamaster, my good man! How are you doing today?

Sunstreaker? Why are you manhandling that human friend of yours?

He's not human! He's a Tickle Me ChipTM life-sized action figure!

Isn't that right, Chip?

Help me...

Wednesday, May 2, 2018

Cybertronian Children

Hi, Megatron!

What the..? You and Optimus Prime have CHILDREN?!?

Yup. We're even expecting our third!

Yo' momma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she takes two trips!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

What the..? A nightmare?

Hey, Dad! What's with all the screaming?
Were you and Mom "wrestling" again?

Oh, fuck me.