How She Makes Enemies XIV

*SLAP*

 Bitch! That hurt! What the hell is your problem?

I'm sure you've heard this plenty of times: You slept with my boyfriend.

Talk about holding a grudge! That was ancient history!

That was like five... days ago! Get over it!

Give Me a Hand II

Cuckold Mask never told you what happened to your mother.

He told me enough! He told me you killed her!!

No. *I* am your mother.

No... no..! That's not true! That's impossible!!

Search your feelings. You know it to be true. Join me.

We shall overthrow Haruhi, and then rule the universe as mother and daughter.

No! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I'll never join you!!

Wait a minute. Whose freak seed was she?

Give Me a Hand

Ah. Someone put in a quarter.

HERE COMES A NEW CHALLENGER!!

I'll hold her off! You three get out of here!

Thanks!

*CLANG*

You are beaten! It is useless to resist!

Don't let yourself be destroyed as Cum Dumpster did!

As if you held on to your chastity!

*CLANG*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!

Fellatio Depends on the Fella

So you're back from the dead as well. While I'm happy for you,

at this point, I want nothing to do with you. You can suck my dick.

 Suck my dick like it cures STDs!

Suck my dick like it's the morning after pill!!

Suck my dick like you're the star of some animated Japanese show!

 Suck my dick like you're an idol singer and I'm the producer!

SUCK MY DICK UNTIL ALL YOU TASTE IS MAN MEAT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

Enough with the foreplay already, you tease! Take your pants off!

Both You and Your Master Are Full of Shit

As I was saying, you are hereby sentenced to death!

Oh, good. I was hoping you wouldn't try to talk yourself out of this one.

You're not getting away this time, Magical Girl Kiririn!

Those chocolate covered pretzels are mine!

What's wrong with you two?!? Help me!!!

So I was having this wet dream but it only turned out to be The Wet Armpit.

What the fuck is The Wet Armpit?

The Wet Armpit is when you're dreaming about finger banging some hot

bitch with a hairy pussy, only to wake up with your fingers in your armpit.

Son of a bitch! Why can't I have wet dreams like that?

GOD DAMN IT!!!

My Benefits > Yours

My master sentences you all... to death!

How the hell did you get the ship girls on your side?

Did you take their Admiral hostage or something?

Nothing of the sort. I offered them a competitive salary and various benefits,

such as health, vision, dental, matching 401K, and boxes of chocolate dipped pretzels.

That evil bitch Haruhi! How dare she offer better benefits than what I'm receiving!

You're a cyborg. What need do you have for health, dental, and vision?

I'm talking about the boxes of chocolate covered pretzels!

Seriously. WTF.