Both You and Your Master Are Full of Shit

As I was saying, you are hereby sentenced to death!

Oh, good. I was hoping you wouldn't try to talk yourself out of this one.

You're not getting away this time, Magical Girl Kiririn!

Those chocolate covered pretzels are mine!

What's wrong with you two?!? Help me!!!

So I was having this wet dream but it only turned out to be The Wet Armpit.

What the fuck is The Wet Armpit?

The Wet Armpit is when you're dreaming about finger banging some hot

bitch with a hairy pussy, only to wake up with your fingers in your armpit.

Son of a bitch! Why can't I have wet dreams like that?

GOD DAMN IT!!!

My Benefits > Yours

My master sentences you all... to death!

How the hell did you get the ship girls on your side?

Did you take their Admiral hostage or something?

Nothing of the sort. I offered them a competitive salary and various benefits,

such as health, vision, dental, matching 401K, and boxes of chocolate dipped pretzels.

That evil bitch Haruhi! How dare she offer better benefits than what I'm receiving!

You're a cyborg. What need do you have for health, dental, and vision?

I'm talking about the boxes of chocolate covered pretzels!

Seriously. WTF.

The Goddess Strikes Back

What is thy bidding, my master?

There is... great disturbance.

I have felt it.

We have new enemies. Trash talking ship girls and Rock Shooter.

I have no doubt those girls are allied with Devil Homura.

How is that possible?

Search your feelings, Kiririn. You will know it to be true. They could destroy us.

They are just little girls. Madoka can no longer help them.

The disturbance is strong within them.

Agents of Homura must not be allowed to become familiars.

If they could be turned, they could become powerful allies.

Yeeeeees. They could be great assets. Can it be done?

They will join us, or die. Master.

Greetings Collection

'sup, bitches!

That ain't no way for a fuckin' lady to talk, God damn it. Shut 'cho trashy pie hole!

'sup, bitches!

More Than Meets Yo' Mama IV

Yo' mama's pussy was so busy, the toilet flushes by itself!

Yo' mama's so ugly, when she walks by the restroom,

I had to slap her thighs and ride the wave just to get in!

Yo' mama's so fat, she gave birth to you through her asshole!

Alternate Endings

Why won't you go out with me?

I don't want my mom's sloppy 22nds!

You're rough and have no idea how to be gentle with a lady!

There's a lady here?

Wait, which STDs do you have?

All of them.

Your mother is such a skank, I had to park my dick on her ass and wait an hour to get in!

You only waited an hour? Sounds like someone got the VIP treatment.